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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

This is dedicated to Nigel 'Fish' Rees

I feel in part like I don't have the right to write about Nige as I only knew him for a short period of time. But then I thought fuck it, Nigel had a huge impact on my life. For those of you that never had the pleasure of knowing him, he was a one of a kind character, sweet, kind and vibrant and always had the time of day for me.

For years I saw him around the village, but it wasnt until I was working at the Rising sun for Paddy, that I got to know him. Its hard to find words to describe Nige I mean yesi described him above but they're are no words that do him justice that truly describe what an awesome bloke he was. I wish i'd gotten to know him sooner. Anyone who asks who that cool cat is in the picture frame atop my cd case is I tell them about him, my favourite memories. Which i'll share with you in a moment. I owe a massive thank you to Mr Rees as I learned a very important thing...to live life!
From the stories i've heard and the photo albums he showed me and the rest of the rising sun gang one night after a stop in at the pub was that Nigel lived life, he took it by the balls and lived it, he did things, went places experienced life in all its muticoloured glory. He wasn't scared to live it. I realised I was. And that I wasn't living my life like I was just a spectator in mine watching it unfurl on a vcr I wasn't prepared to be the lead character in my own show. I used to tell myself I tried to make changes but I didn't try hard enough. And those of you that know me well in wales will recall numerous occasions where I said i'd do stuff but never did.

Until august 2009 I was working for my friend Steve who kindly gave me a job after I left blue banana, my contract was coming to an end and I thought sod it, I reapplied to bb and got a job in their Exeter store. I think my friends were shocked. I had two weeks to pack up my shit, find a place to live and get to Ex to start work on the 1st sept.
I nearly wussed out on two occasions I knew i'd miss my friends something chronic but i'm glad I didn't change my mind. I realised if I put my mind to something things can change plus in a warped way I felt my pride was at stake so no matter how much I wanted to back out on saturday night I couldn't. I always figured i'd end up doing something like that you know being the one out of the group that just ups and leaves on her itchy feet.

When I look back at the year and a half since leaving Wales I see how much I have changed and grown as a person and for the most part its for the better. Whether its just silly little things like having 3/4 of my head shaved(sorry Ninja I know the pact was i'd get a mo but it was close enough) or taking a kick boxing lesson, or the bigger stuff like having a boyfriend, getting a new job or finally taking a course. I did it I took a leap of faith and took my life by the gonads. Carpe diem and all that. Theres been some profound emotional changes too, my temper has mellowed out an insane amount the only super bad flare up I can recall is when I tried to put my laptop through a wall.
I also have more confidence and self esteem, I don't hesitate to approach guys i'm not shy or scared of being myself. Either find my accident prone clumsyness endearing or buggar off lol. I feel comfortable in my own skin here.

I wrote this blog to illustrate the changes i've made in my life and dedicated it Nigel because he was an amazing person. My favourite memory of him, me and some of the boys had gone back to Nige's after a stop in at the sun, he put the Ace of Spades on and blasted it, I remember sitting on his couch with some of the boys and just being mesmorised he stood near the stereo in his black boots, leather jacket and pork pie hat with his eyes closed singing along with Lemmy. I remember bumping into him one day and complimented him on his jacket he said he'd tied it to a lead and dragged it along the ground to get it beat up looking. I also remember my friend Pez telling me to ask Nige about a photo he's shown him and that I should ask Nige if I could see it too i've got to be honest to this day its the coolest picture i've seen. It was a picture of Nige all in black looking like Sid Viscious stood on top of a big burned out black car next to the Berlin wall which was covered in mad colourful graffiti. I think Nigel was a punk rock star in his own right. I'll leave it there for now. RIP Nige and Lucy

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