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Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Case of the green eyed Vagina

Hey lovely people so hows your week been? I've just finished reading a Nikki Sixx interview on, its cool to different. I am a fan, I love his music and his writing. I think its refreshing to see someone in a position to do something positive out there doing it. I like how he challenges mainstream cultures perception of beauty and throws a shit storm at it. Since when does being pretty just on the outside make you beautiful. It dosn't its your soul that does. I can't wait to read his new book I know its been out for a little while now but its on my to-do list.

I've been having a bit of a weird few days, ok make that a couple of weeks, my insides feel pretty ugly right now...i seem constantly pissed off and frustrated with everything and sure my temper/emotions have been heightened the past two weeks due to my hormones, but regardless I don't like the colours i've been wearing. When I step back to reflect I mentally bitch slap myself andtell myself that things could be worse and that i'm just being stupid. I feel in a way that i'm letting my friends memory down in some way. I learned from him to grab life by the balls and that things could change if I tried hard enough. I think i've gotten lazy and that the route cause of my frustration can be soley attributed to that...laziness. Its two am and it appears I am in a reflective state so instead of being a mard arse(for you non-northerners it roughly translates as moody bitch) i'm going to dish my weeks antics.

In my last blog (the one before P.S not sweet) I say quite sternly and very matter of factly that its King Tarts last appearance in blog as in 'fine you don't want to fuck me i'll find it else where''. So when I was busy thinking about other things and other people and not remotley sulking about not playing with his dick anymore(i'm lying about the latter haha) he text me although it did take me a few mins to work out who it was from due to having deleted his number. He'd read 4 in a bed and liked it. And for anyone thinking i'm hypocrite for expcting King Tart not to to hook up with other girls and then hooking up with other people myself then ok fair shout but he dosn't get jealous at all and I generally hook up with people when i'm not getting it from him I can't help myself. I told my friend that he dosn't get jealous and her response was pretty much this ''Bollocks'' but he's said it numerous times so either he's a born swinger or he dosn't see me as someone worth getting jealous over, that has crossed my mind. I know i'm playing with fire when it comes to him and that i'll probably end up getting my fingers burned but I just can't seem to help myself...he really is that good in bed. To be honest i'm kind of shocked that he's speaking to me after friday and I think he was just as shocked that I was speaking to him after friday night. The long and short of it is I got a big case of the green eyed vagina/monster and subsequently called him a prick, admittedly we've called each other worse in bed but it really is about the context and my PMS (i used to take Prozac for my PMS so you can roughly gauge how horendous it is) had a huge part to play in it. When I bumped into him when I was at work. We spoke for a bit and during that conversation we established that yes I am a twat, and yes I am a bitch, and I thought of fucking him in two different places (one being outside work right there and then) and at least two different positions to do it in. King tart if I ever piss you off again do you mind just calling me a cunt bag instead of a bitch at least that way I won't have slick undies for the duration of my shift hahah;-)

I do have a story about friday night but first things first. I got chatting to a very handsome bloke who I will affectionatley call Duvet stealer, he's goregous, broad shouldered, cheeky smile and big dark eyes. So Mr Duvet stealer and I got chatting...hes very funny. I like a guy who can make me laugh. I made a pinky swear that I would go and say goodbye when my shift ended alas I am shit and forgot and plus I still had one very dirty thing on my mind when I finished work, the ending to my friday night would probably piss most of you lovely lot off royally if you'd found yourselves in my 6inch heels. King tart calls me on his way home and suggests that I go over I sprawled down his address and called a taxi. Then dashed round like a blue arsed fly getting changed when the taxi showed up early I had to run outsied wearing just a jumper and a g-string, flashing my arse to the taaxi driver as ran back inside to get dressed haha. So anyway we get there and whoo hoo orgasms and hot as hell rough sex here I come right? Wrong! I'm stood outside his house dolled upto the nines in seamed stockings and six inch heels (my favourite leopard print ones no less) knocking on his door to no answer and the same no answer when I phoned him...twice. Luckily the taxi driver was still there so I caught a taxi home...25 quid round trip, the funny thing I wasn't pissed off I actually found it hilarious as did the taxi driver...umm perhaps it was karma for calling him a prick earlier. Turns out King Tart was passed out drunk(you're a nightmare hahah)
We've really been missing our male bestie here at the house of naughtyness and as his flightt had been postponed until saturday due to air strikes at Kos. On the way back home in the taxi I called my bestie who wwas at the airport and we had serious catch ups. I really miss you babe. I'm sure you'll do awesome over there! He's such an amazing person and brings so much laughter and light with him when hes back on british soil.

Saturday was awesome, despite all of Sexy Stars friends randomly coming upto me going ''did you have sex with Sexy stars''(only uing his actual name of course). And him picking me up and dry humping me... only for my baccy tin to drop on the floor and upon my asking him to pick it up he said ''no i'm a______ now'' and I was like I don't give a monkeys uncle what you are I am still a lady so pick it and behave like a gent. Honestly men! Ohhhh and Sexy Stars thank you for spreading it round town that you screwed me haha little shit hahaha.
King tart didn't make it to my bed that night either god knows whos he ended up in lol but Duvet stealer ended up in mine:-) after going to meet him and giving him my spare hoodie which incidently looks waaaaay better on him than it does on me. We went back to mine, he scored seriously ''you're sweet'' points when he called me a Pixie after one of his friends called me an elf hahahaha. Who dosn't like being reffered to as a mythical creature.
Duvet stealer is pretty much the smoking police which fair shout but I must half brushed my teeth 3times and eaten a half a packet of mentos in 3hours lol. We chatted alot and laughed alot. He likes bikes and he had a nose at some of my paintings. We also had a wrestle for my duvet which of course I won on account of fighting dirty by tickling the backs of his knees mwahahaha winner! And ok its totally to do with the fact that I am a ninja in my spare time Dawn was stretching across the sky by the time we actually went to sleep no fucking though I was thoroughly exhausted from work and wasn't upto the know what they say if its worth doing its worth doing well;-). He's been texting me, its nice to not be the one that makes all the effort its good that i'm not doing all the chasing. Duvet stealer is very funny and sweet, he also throws a couple of compliments my way which is sweet. Oooh yeah that just reminded me duvet stealer has an awesome arse I like a good bum and I think I likened his physic to that of a renaissance sculpture.

I had a chat with King Tart on fbook the other night we're looking for someone for a 3some a bloke as well being an alpha non cock sharing lady like I am a bloke is a better idea and whilst we are at it I also mentioned in passing that i'd really like to film the two of us having sex...its going to be so horny!

Things i'm loving right now
My new Tala(retro baking range) piping bag so old school
The ceramic mix bowls I picked up again very 50's looking
Meet me at the Cupcake cafe (the book i'm currently reading)
My friends but I don't just love you right now i'll love you for always! Do you wanna see my south pole hahaha
The orange and ginger cupcakes I made with orange cream and carmalised orange slices...yummy!

Things i'm hating
That my cat is probably not going to show up:'(
That some people will choose sex over their friendships...not cool we're the ones that pick up the pieces when it all goes to hell...

Hope you all have a rad week lovely people
Kinky cupcake XOXOX

1 comment:

  1. Not that I have an opinion, but you don't half know some pricks, my dear!

    Liked last weeks one, don't really know what to say about it though.