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Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Hey good lookin' its all about flirtation

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? Mine has been pretty good with the exception of friday when I got a bit shouty, a bit sweary and alot hand gesturey on account of being livid. I would like to say a huge fuck you to those who were responsible for friday and a huge thank you to Miss Banana and the lucious Long legs for not cringing at each expletetive including the word cunt which peppered my retelling of the events that happened on friday afternoon...i love you both!

So on account of not having had any action for 3 weeks(which as you know is a hell of a long time for me...longest dry spell so far this year) i've decided to write about flirtation...the good stuff that paves the way to fucksville so to speak or at least gives us a good buzz. I've had a couple of conversations with a couple of different people on the subject and i've done some research and discovered a few interesting things that made a light bulb flash in my head as in ''oooooh he sooooo did that'' see bless me for the most part i'm a pretty observant person and pick up on the most obvious signals its the more subtle ones I generally miss out on. I remember a few years ago when I was 16/17 and turning to a friend of mine complaining that I didn't know how to flirt to which she replied ''yess you do you flirt with everyone'' upon pressing her to elaborate on what she meant by that she simply said that I smile and laugh alot. I naively thought that flirting was soley verbal. Thankfully now in my twenties i've wised up alot and am aware that our body has a large part to play in it, in fact up until yesterday I had no idea how large a part it does actually play. Only 7% of aa womans attraction is shown through verbal communication, 38% percent is through tone of voice and and whopping 50% is body language.

On the weekend I spent a substantial amount of time flirting with a seriously beautiful gent(those pahahaing and saying that a bloke can't be called beautiful, thats bollocks beauty is non-gender specific) so Beautiful Tattoo and i were talking about the topic and i'd said that if our mouths arn't saying it then our bodies are saying it for us, then I went on to use the fact that I bite my bottom lip alot when i'm attracted to someone. He went on to point out that I play with my hair, at which point my jaw dropped slightly and the piece of hair I was twirling got thrown over my shoulder as in the ''ooooh yep you caught me flirting, yep my body was being nice and slutty there on my behalf'' god knows why I felt like i'd been caught on i'd already told he had nice hands and that he'd looked sexy as hell chewing on that toothpick when i'd bumped into him a few weekends ago. Fuck me I honestly have no shame. The point i'm making here is this our brains are designed to make us behave in certain ways, flirting is as old as women. Our bodies give off these signals. To prospective ''mates'' or ''hook ups'' we do certain things subconsciously like the whole playing with my hair thing I do it for two reasons. Onee is consciously I play with it when i'm at home either when i'm day dreaming or just chilling simply because it relaxes its silky haha. Aand the second is subconsciously which I only do around me i'm attracted too. Beautiful Tattoo went on to point out that loads of girls play with with their hair...duh its because they're attracted to you. But i'll get to why us facinating creatures do that in sec. But first things first. Why do we do it? Why do we flirt? The answer is n obvious and simple one...we do it to test levels of mutual attraction before visibly acting! No one likes rejection. It dates back to when we lived in smaller dwellings/villages and had you been rejected by a prospective mate it would travel like wild fire therefore making the rejected as a popular as a fart in a can and less sexually viable.
And despite being as evolved as we are and somewhat more of a sophisticated animal when it comes to ''mating'' or ''getting lucky'' we revert back to a more primitive state twhen it comes to our baser urges. Here's a feww interesting tidbits for your delectation a few common signals

Common signals seen in both sexes.
The forehead bow: if a person tips their head slightly forward and looks up at you from uunder their brow, they're inviting you to come closer.
Your pupils dialate: I've mentioned this one before, when we're attracted to someone our pupils dialate regardless of how much light there is in the room. Its also a completely involuntary response.
Smiling of course.

Heres a couple of gender specific ones that gents exhibit
They stand tall or sit up straight
They thrust their shoulders back their chest outward like numerous other male animals
Gents engage in grooming behaviours such as picking imaginary fluff off his clothes or straightening his tie(thus drawing attention to himself)
Have their palms facing up when gesticulating or resting, this act shows their openess and vulnerability thus showing they're friendly and approachable(king tart did this on saturday night still didn't prevent me from calling him a dick and telling him to pretty much go fuck himself on account of my not being remotely interested in him anymore.

Here's some common ones that ladies exhibit
This one is for Beautiful Tattoo and any of you other gents that have a wondered why women play with their hair
We twirl/play/stroke our hair for a few reasons; to expose our necks, because we are nervous and my personal favourite itss a sign of playful arousal. Its used to attract a mans attention or to show him that his masculinity is attractive to us.
We arch our backs which makes our bums and boobs stick out.
We gently bite or lick our lips. We compel attention to what many biologists believe are facial echo's of vaginal lips. Transmitting sexual maturity and our interest in sex.

Basically if someone you like mirrors any of these signals they're into you but however if you see clusters of them then you're pretty much golden.
Some guys I find put out mix signals which is a total pain in the ass as you can't just come outright and say hey so whats the deal fancy hooking up or not. Now before I leave things there I read an interesting page on attraction. Humans like symmetry we also like healthy immune systems which is why uss ladies are more likely to go forr tall square jawed men. We are more likely to select tall symmetrical men when we are ovulating as scientists that did a recent study which entailed 20 or so men sleeping in the same t-shirt for two nights and asking 20 women to smell the scent on the t-shirt studies showed that the women who were in ovulating preferred the scent of the most symmetrical over all of the asymmetrical men and the women that were in other stages of their cycle had no preferance at all. Another studied showed that flirtation is most successfull among the most symmetrical. Mens body symmetry matches up with the number of lifetime sex partners they report having. They also engage in more infidelity and get to sex more quickly after meeting someone than asymmetrical men. They also loose their virginity earlier in life too so in other words us symmetrical lot are bunch of total sluts too busy spreading their symmetry around than to make long term partners.

Things i'm hating right now
The conversation I overheard on Friday
That the conversation that I overheard caused me to loose my rag and try to put my phone through a wall ashamed
That I havn't gotten lucky in like 3 weeks

Things i'm loving right now
The new sex toys we got in work...i'm upgrading on payday whoop!
That my besties bought me a delish coffee into work on satuday bestest ever!
That I bumped into mr handsome on saturday night christ I forget how adonis like he is!

Right then lovely ladies and gents i'm going to leave it there for now, hope you all have an awesome week
Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO


  1. Your writing is really developing. And I ain't fucking sweet.

  2. Dear P.S Not Sweet. Thanks my writing is developing however my grammar is going down hill lol...seriously fucked my phone hence the doubles of ww, aa and probably ee's haha. Think next week i'll be tackling the tasty subject of nymphomania.(someone asked me the other day if I actually was a nymphomaniac. You sooooo are sweet! Hence yourr name in the blog... Sweet, sweet with it haha!