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Friday, 6 July 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey review

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? So I wrote my review of 50 Shades of Grey. And sent it off to the rumpus unfortunately my submission was declined so I'm posting it here as promised for you lovely ladies and gents to read. A review by a real female submissive I am about to utter the four words that are causing a stir amongst us ladies worldwide; '50 Shades of Grey' also seen popping up in status's across Facebook and the like as 'The book', it is the reason we're all getting our panties in a bunch and why we're trying to find 5 minutes of peace and quiet. Admittedly I'm not one for jumping on the media hype band wagon, I'm usually the type to wait for the hype to die down and then if I'm curious I'll check it out. But one whiff off BDSM and I'm there I can't help it I'm a slave to my clitoris. So despite my doubts about whether or not it would turn out to be a Story of O rip-off I downloaded a copy to my kindle and got stuck straight in. The leading lady Miss Anastasia Steele and trust me ladies and gents you'll get to know her surname too on account of it being said a lot throughout, is on the cusp of graduating college(uni for us Brits) She is also a virgin, when she meets the enigmatic CEO Christian Grey. So far so cliché, right. Despite finding the story line wishy washy and the dialogue repetitive E.L James knows how to write a good sex scene to the point where I quickly devoured it and wanted more deeming 50 shades juice-inducingly delicious. As a spankster I found myself getting incredibly turned on when Mr Grey takes the inexperienced Ana across his knee for the first time. And don't get me started on the scene with the riding crop, oooh yes please I want some, although to be fair I would've preferred the belt whipping myself those of you who read my blog will know exactly what I'm referring too. However despite her extensive vocabulary which occasionally had me reaching for a dictionary, and her passion for the character's she created, it's not well written. I could pick holes in it all day but she's obviously doing something right as not only has the trilogy sold over 20million copies there is also a movie in the pipeline too. I think overall its very melodramatic too much drama. Ana referring to Grey's play room as "The red room of pain" and professing that she is not a submissive when she evidently is, I'm sorry E.L James but as a kinkster and someone who has been playing for nearly 12 years I have never met someone that likes to be spanked and tied up and claims they are not submissive. I also thought the belt whipping scene was melodramatic. Safe words are an integral part of safe, sane BDSM play for a reason, it prevents situations like Ana enduring 6 hard lashes from a belt, wanting to stop but not saying anything then promptly storming out crying afterwards. I think someone that is new to BDSM will probably have a negative view on it due to careless writing. My other beef with it is this Grey isn't just domineering in the bedroom but tells Ana when and what to eat he even buys her clothes so that when she is with him she'll be dressed to his approval, the latter is all well and good in the bedroom during a scene, but outside of it, I'd personally tell Grey to take a hike back to his cave. I say if you're a bit horny, the sex scenes make it worth a read. However if you are a fellow kinkster like me I'd recommend picking up a copy of My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up by Stephen Elliott or Kings Pawn by Ruth Fox two of my personal favorites. Kinky Cupcake XOXO

4 comments:

  1. I've been contemplating reading this, but suspected I'd get annoyed by poor writing. (As well as being jealous of it's success, of course.) From your review, it seems likely I wouldn't like it. I've never really found any fetish writing that I like much, though no doubt there must be good stuff somewhere.

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    1. Umm I think non-kinksters are lapping it up because it's a bit more raunchy than a mid shag ass slapping. But it's definitely not one for people who like things a bit more hardcore.
      I agree with you on that one, trying to find a book that incorporates most of my kinks is hard, there are a few but most of the time I find more of what i'm looking for by whipping open a copy of taboo magazine.
      Ever thought of writing one? I'd read it ;-)

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  2. In kink writing, I never like any of the characters, for some reason. I did write two fetish stories for Skin Two, which I was pleased with, though they were possibly too humorous to count as seriously erotic. One of them is online, via the 'Martin Millar Writing' link on my blogger profile, or else the stories page of my website.

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  3. Why? I read one of them...I thought it was very hot, plus your characters were easy to relate too. Like two friends having a coffee and spilling about a night of debauchery and I especially liked the bit in the kitchen with the housemate and the oils....it cracked me up. That's what I didn't like about 50 Shades of Grey, I couldn't relate to the characters and it was too serious. I know sex is serious especially when it come to safe words and sure it intense but sometimes it's messy and clumsy and I think it's a shame that a lot of erotic authors don't put that stuff in. Some of my favorite moments have been when things have gone a bit tits up because it usually results in laughing (my "You're getting it in my mouth" post.
    I'll check out the second Skin Two piece.

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